For not_a_cub

[so_far_fallen]

Aria was so happy to be back at the cottage, it was a place that had been more of a home to him than anywhere else he'd ever lived in his life.

Things had been neglected in his absence, left to overgrow or rot in the ground, and the cow shed was in a terrible state. The two pygmy goats were no longer in their pen and had eaten their way through most of the vegetables he'd spent half a year carefully tending. The cows had been given food and water by the looks of it, but they hadn't been milked, grazed, or mucked out. It was the same with the hens - the hen house was filthy, and with so much corn thrown down and not cleared up the place was infested with rats. But things could have been worse.

When he'd been asked to move back into the cottage temporarily to look after Eli while he was sick Aria had almost refused on principle, but however badly Eli had treated him it wasn't enough to want to see him suffer. Besides, he knew that if he didn't accept then Lucien or their parents or even Sybil would have to do it instead and he'd never forgive himself if they got sick too.

So here he was, waiting on Eli hand and foot, and then trying to fix his beloved cottage and yard when his future-brother-in-law was sleeping.

Comments

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

"You're going to bloody lecture me now?" Eli snaps.

"Try that again and I'll change my menu."

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

"Oh go on then, shift and attack me, that went so well for you last time," Aria snaps back.

His patience has worn so thin, he's being treated so unfairly and he can't stand it. Eli is so unreasonable like this, he reminds him of his previous husband, and he'd always promised himself that he wouldn't let anyone bully him that way again.

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

"Who the fuck do you think you are, talking back at me like you do? You don't even deserve to be in our pack, let alone being anywhere near our alpha."

The alpha that had now stepped down because of Aria.

Lucien would change his mind like he always did. About his position. About his mate too.

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

"I give up!" Aria cries, exasperated. "I don't know what you want. I've tried everything . When I'm nice to you and do as you say you accuse me of being too submissive and not worthy of the pack, and then when I stand up for myself you say I shouldn't dare talk back to you and, here's a surprise, once again I'm not good enough to be part of the pack. I think at this point I could literally save the whole family from destruction single handed and then sprout fur myself and I still wouldn't be good enough in your eyes. I'm sick of trying to impress you, I don't know what else I can possibly do!"

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

The outburst surprises Eli. A familiar feeling sprouts on his chest, the little empathy he can feel towards Aria, the understanding he once had before his views on the other man changed so drastically.

"Leave the fuck away before you finish ruining me brother's life."

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

"No. I'm not going anywhere whether you like it or not. Lucien loves me. I love him. We're happy together and you're literally the only thing making Lucien unhappy right now, you and your crazy vendetta against me. Why can't you just be happy for us?"
He hesitates for a fraction of a second but he's too angry to hold back. "You need to stop this jealous, obsessive behaviour towards Lucien. Whatever this weird, incestuous fixation on your brother is it's only going to drive you further apart the more you try to tear us away from each other, so you need to get a grip and make do with your girlfriend and your cubs and leave us alone."

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

It's a slap, being told he is the one making his brother unhappy. Even more so when Aria is the one spitting it on his face. It's enough for Eli to want to shred him to pieces. But then Aria goes on.

"Incestuos?" He is up on a jolt, which only has him wincing as once again the world becomes unstabble around him. That doesn't stop him though. Holding onto the edge of the bed to keep his balance, Eli slowly steps off it. "Don't bring Sybil and the cubs into this! And take that shite back!"

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

This time Aria makes no move to help him.

His heart thuds faster and his instincts tell him to drop it but he can't.
"Gosh, well, it must be horrible the thought of someone criticising your family," he remarks, bitingly. "It's a good thing you'd never do anything like that."
Can Eli really not see the sheer hypocrisy of his words?

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

The second Aria brings up his family, Eli's mind doesn't go towards his mate and children, but towards the pack.

"You'll never belong to my family. You're just a vegetarian who looks after the animals, you're only convenient. You don't understand how we work. You'll never be the mate Lucien needs."

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry to break it to you but neither will you. Grow up, Eli."

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

"That's--" Eli shakes his face, wincing as if once again he had been slapped. "That's not what I want-- I..."

He huffs. "Even if that was what I wanted, I still know him better than you and always will. We've been together our whole lives. We are pack, not you. You don't understand his cycles, you don't understand how puppy piles work or hunting. You're not a wolf and will never have the blood of one in you."

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

"What gives you the right to make that decision for him? If he's in love and he's happy with me who are you to take that away from him? Why is it your choice? Why do you know better? Sybil isn't a wolf either, does that mean she's not worthy? That she'll never be good enough because she can't hunt, because she doesn't live by your cycles? The world doesn't revolve around you, you know."

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

"Sybil carries my cubs, Sybil is part of the pack!" He argues, arm stretched to still hold onto the bed even as he takes a couple of steps closer towards Aria.

"And I know better, same as Lucien knows better and decides who eats and when. I know when he needs to be on top, I know when the moon changes and he wants to be fucked. I know he dreads the vegetarian shite you force on his table..."

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

"I've been Lucien's mate for years now, Eli. You think I haven't learned those things? You're just proving you don't know a thing about us. You're just making assumptions because you're a jealous, judgemental ass-hole." He doesn't move despite Eli coming closer to him. "You want to know the truth? I'll tell you the truth. When it's the full moon period Luc gets all the meat he can eat from whatever take-away restaurants he fancies. If he wants five different orders I order from five different places. If he wants to fuck me for three days straight I let him fuck me raw. And at new moon, when he wants to be fucked, I fuck him until he's a trembling mess and our sheets are soaked. And either way he loves it , and there's nothing you can do about it."

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

He'd imagined Aria to be too much of a fucking girl to give Lucien what he wanted. He imagined him forcing his ways on his brother, trying to turn him into who he is not. And even though Eli was aware that Lucien gets take out when he needs it, Aria's words still wound him. Makes him feel worthless and left out. Replaced in Lucien's affection.

Like a wolf snapping it's jaws, his hand sways from left to right, but Aria escapes his claws.

Eli is seeing red. It's specially hurtful to hear Aria use the name Eli has given his big brother back when he himself was a cub. Luc. Only he on their pack calls Lucien 'Luc'.

He launches himself this time, clutching Aria by the collar of his shirt and dragging him down to the floor.

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

Aria is knocked to the floor but he doesn't recoil or cower, he looks Eli dead in the eye.

"Do what you want to me, you won't make him love me less," he growls.

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

"He loves me more. He's loved me since I was born," Eli hisses, his hands shaking as they close around Aria's throat.

He pushes down, pressing all of his weight onto the blond's windpipe.

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

Aria hadn't expected that. He thought Eli might punch him, smack him around a bit, cause some damage even, but he didn't think he'd try to kill him. Had he completely underestimated just how much Eli hates him?

... And if so... too late now.

He grabs Eli's wrists and tries to pull him off, unable to breathe and already starting to choke. He struggles and claws at his wrists, fighting for air.

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

Breathing through clenched teeth, his spits drips right on Aria's face. The scratching is nothing, no more than a deer kicking when powerful jaws stab their backs. Eli's been wounded while hunting, this is nothing.

This is Aria. A bloke he's known for years, a close friend of the pack who slowly made his way into stealing Lucien away.

This could be it, this could be the end of his problem. And only Lucien is to blame for it, Eli has warned him that he would tear Aria apart. And Aria... Aria has pushed him and pushed him tonight.

"You were askin' for it saying all that bullshite. You are askin' for it..."

It's tears that flow down Eli's cheeks now, dripping on Aria's face. He can tell that it won't be long before life starts drifting away from Aria. And Lucien, will Lucien forgive him if he follows his threat?

Eli falls on his ass, his hands shaking as much as his own breath does.

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

Black spots appear in Aria's vision and he kicks out, trying to get Eli off of him, but even ill he's stronger than he is. His thrashing ebbs as he loses energy, unable to draw breath. His vision starts to blur and he's about to pass out when suddenly Eli lets go.

Aria rolls onto his side, coughing and gasping for breath, one hand coming up to rub his throat whilst the other supports himself.

Eli nearly killed him. He can't believe it.

[not-a-cub.livejournal.com]

On his hands and knees, Eli's head hungs as he recoils, heading back towards the bed. He braces himself, turning into a tight, trembling ball as his back leans against the mattress.

He almost murders Aria. He almost does it.

He will if pushed. Good part of him wants to, he thinks as he sobs.

[so-far-fallen.livejournal.com]

The shock of what's happened takes all the fight out of him. All that rage turns to what it was originally - a desperate, miserable longing to be liked and accepted.

There's a silence for a few minutes, Aria is shaking as he tries to get his breath back, but once he does he looks over at Eli and starts sobbing. He draws his knees up to his chin and cries his heart out.
" I don't understand why you hate me," he sobs, "I..I..I don't understand... I just want..a...a family... that's all I want... all I've ever wanted... I'd do anything... Why won't you let me have that?... "